Monday, October 4, 2010

Relearning How To Learn

I have just gotten through week 6 of my Master's program at American University. Graduate school is not an easy thing especially when you have been out of the classroom for four years. I have had to relearn how to sit and pay attention for several hours on end, manage my time more efficiently, and hone the fine art of bullshitting. These are all concepts that I had gotten quite good at as a graduate from Aquinas College. But these skills had laid dormant for a long time and as a result it took a period of relearning to get them down pat once again. Not only did I have to relearn how to learn but I am currently trying to figure out how to survive in this new level of scholarly intensity. It seems that I have had to force my brain to function in a way that it has not had to before. This "next level" involves a high degree of independent thought. Sometimes when discussing an issue, or analyzing a concept, my mind goes blank and I end up focusing more on the fact that I can not focus than on finishing the thought that my brain is trying to tackle. Usually I can think clearly and understand the ideas that I am learning but there are times when I get overwhelmed by the complexities of a particular concept and at my inability to explore it in a more intellectual manner. This only gets compounded by the intelligence of my fellow students and the faculty that I encounter. Even though I sometimes feel that I am in over my head, I always need to remind myself that I have a habit of underestimating my own abilities. I have not gotten this far solely on luck and good looks. I need to keep reminding myself of that. I also need to keep fresh in my mind the fact that I am paying to get a challenging education. What would be the point of all this if it wasn't hard. When I struggle with this issue, I revisit a conversation I had with a friend of mine by the name of Burns. We were sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette and I asked him if he thought that anyone was capable of understanding even the most complex of ideas. He said "of course" (after he excluded the mentally disabled from the population being considered) and said that it isn't about whether or not you are smart enough to understand something, it's about the amount of time and dedication you give to it. I like that idea. It's something that I can understand...